Lonely Werewolf Girl. Do it now. He also wrote The Good Fairies of New York, but this is somehow better. Martin Millar is the sort of person that Neil Gaiman gushes about. For instance:

"I don't understand why Martin Millar isn't as celebrated as Kurt Vonnegut, as rich as Terry Pratchett, as famous as Douglas Adams... I've been a fan of his work for almost twenty years."
or
"Millar writes like Kurt Vonnegut might have written, if he'd been born fifty years later in a different country and hung around with entirely the wrong sort of people... The Good Fairies of New York is a story that starts when Morag and Heather, two eighteen-inch fairies (that's 45 centimeters tall to you) with swords and green kilts and badly-dyed hair fly through the window of the worst violinist in New York, an overweight and antisocial type named Dinnie, and vomit on his carpet...It has a war in it, and a most unusual production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and Johnny Thunders' New York Dolls guitar solos. What more could anyone desire from a book?... Read it now, and then make your friends buy their own copies. You'll thank me one day."

My theory is that everything this man has written is worth reading.

AWAY MESSAGE RELATED EDIT: ""The pyjamas have cats on them. I am informed that these cats belong to an organization called Hello Kitty." is from the book.

ALSO: Not from the book: Colon: "Soup and water are different things" is the best away message I have ever constructed, as it can be used for both eating delicious soup and/or being in the shower. It is relevant to all my interests!